Chapter 18: A Psalm of Reflection and Contrition

 A Psalm of Reflection and Contrition

To the Lector: A Psalm of Blake, reflecting on his fear of God and a desire for true obedience.


O Lord, my God, since my conundrum's start,

I've held a fear of You deep in my heart.

Your might, O God, has filled me with dread,

In awe of Your power, in Your shadow I've tread.

 

I made a promise to You, and I strove to keep,

From overt sin, I turned, my commitment deep.

Yet, O Lord, I ponder, was my avoidance just fear,

Of losing what You gave, all that I hold dear?

 

Was it terror of Your might that kept me in line,

Not love for Your laws, but fear of losing mine?

My company, my achievements, under Your hand,

Did I cling to them tightly, in Your vast land?

 

I question now, O God, my true intent,

Was it for You, or for my own content?

If love for You had been my guiding light,

Would not my path have been more upright?

 

As one dances near the fire, drawn yet wary,

Have I circled Your commands, tentative and vary?

In the flickering flames, my fears I see reflected,

Not in love, but in self-preservation, my path directed.

 

Forgive me, O Lord, for my misplaced fear,

For not loving You, for not holding You dear.

I eschewed evil, but was it for Your sake,

Or to preserve my own stake?

 

Now I see, O God, the error of my way,

In Your steadfast love, I should have found my stay.

Had I truly understood, embraced Your love so vast,

From sin, I would have turned, my lot firmly cast.

 

I am sorry, O Lord, for my shallow creed,

For not following Your precepts, Your word to heed.

If only I had known, understood Your truth,

I would have walked closer, from my very youth.

 

But now, O God, I commit anew,

To serve You, love You, in all I do.

No longer just in fear, but in love profound,

In Your grace and mercy, let my life be found.

 

Teach me, Lord, to love You, beyond the fear,

In Your grace and truth, draw me near.

Let me not dance by the fire's edge in fright,

But embrace Your flame, Your love, Your light.

 

You are my God, forever You reign,

In Your service, let me not feign.

Guide me, O Lord, in Your righteous way,

In Your love and fear, let me stay. Amen.




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